Three Little Birds

The last blog was "a fork in the road"... we decided to take a left .  As in west... west of Duke... I got a second opinion at UNC today.  Yes, I ventured into "Tarhole" territory... me the NC State fan!  It was painful at first seeing the disgusting color that is tarhole blue everywhere.  And then we drove around the massive parking deck for what seemed like hours searching for a spot.  And then we waited for an hour to see the doctor.  And then a man was almost arrested in the waiting room as we waited - long story... we were in no apparent danger.  Anyway, we got the 2nd opinion. And the news you all have waited to hear is... I still need a hysterectomy.  BUT not tomorrow.  Not even next month.   We can wait on that "end of the road" surgery until we're ready.  She (Dr. Mersereau is her name - love her!) said I could remain on the monthly injections for up to a year if need be.  It's called Lupron and it has been holding ...

PUSH PLAY TO THE RIGHT. :) While I'm Waiting John Waller I'm waiting I'm waiting on You, Lord And I am hopeful I'm waiting on You, Lord Though it is painful But patiently, I will wait I will move ahead, bold and confident Taking every step in obedience While I'm waiting I will serve You While I'm waiting I will worship While I'm waiting I will not faint I'll be running the race Even while I wait I'm waiting I'm waiting on You, Lord And I am peaceful I'm waiting on You, Lord Though it's not easy But faithfully, I will wait Yes, I will wait I will serve You while I'm waiting I will worship while I'm waiting I will serve You while I'm waiting I will worship while I'm waiting I will serve you while I'm waiting I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord "They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor" ~ Isaiah 61:3

Well, here we are. Standing at the fork in the road that we knew was inevitably coming one day. 3 wks ago, we visited Dr. Walmer after having those persistent cysts drained (again! for the 2nd time). After the ultrasound, he sat us down and told us it was the end of the road - that I needed to have a hysterectomy. .... What do I say after that? We cried, we prayed, we cried some more. And we made the appointment with the gynecologic oncologist who would be performing the hysterectomy. It is on Dec. 1, 2009 (the appt, not the surgery!!). Many of you might wonder, why in the world doesn't she just leave it all intact and maybe she will get pregnant in a few years after they adopt, etc., etc? The hysterectomy is the last chance Dr. Walmer thinks I have at pain relief. However, I will tell you this - my pain is not only from my uterus issues - it's also coming from these cysts!! I've been having persistent back pain for about 5 wks now, that we thought was a kidney sto...

Well it has been a while since I've updated the blog, and really so much and at the same time, so LITTLE has happened! Since we found out that I do have a lining that will grow and respond to hormones, we've also found out my body likes to grow ovarian cysts! Usually ovarian cysts are not too much of a problem (painful yes, but not a big deal for fertility). However, Dr. Walmer cannot get any eggs out for In Vitro if these cysts are in the way. About 6 weeks ago, I went in for a procedure in the office to aspirate the cyst on my right ovary (which is actually called an "endometrioma" - endometriosis in the ovary that bleeds into the ovary, looking like a cyst but really acting as a benign tumor). It went fairly well (ouch!) but unfortunately, even after a whole lot of suppression with medications and a whole bunch more prayer, a week later it was back. 3 weeks later (this past week) we went in to see if it had been reabsorbed naturally. Between this time and the ...

OK, so I stole the title of this blog from my mom's facebook status tonight. :) But it's true! I went back to Dr. Walmer's today for a repeat ultrasound... but let's back up. Because I need to show you how far God has brought us ... so we have to start at the bottom & work our way to the top. Last week, after several weeks of estrogen therapy, we had our endometrial lining (sometimes called the "stripe") measured. It was only 3 millimeters. Very disappointing, seeing as we had been on estrogen for 2 weeks (or more). Dr. Walmer doubled my estrogen - 2 patches changed every other day! And our repeat ultrasound today showed us that "with God all things are possible". After only one extra week of doubled estrogen doses, my uterine lining measured 8.4 mm !! I think I could have knocked Dr. Walmer out of his chair he looked so amazed! :) So what's the next step in this very long, patience-building, faith-consuming journey? Well now we are ...

This is from a good friend of mine and former pastor's wife's notes on Facebook. Thanks Julie for allowing me to post here. It blessed my heart and I'm sure it will bless others! Have you ever heard the doctor say "I'm sorry. It is biologically impossible for you to concieve." Those words are like a dead weight to the soul. I traveled this journey for many years. You are immediately moved to question what you believe about God - "Is God good." What you have just heard and the understanding that you know God is indeed good (that all things in our lives take place under the banner of His goodness) comes into conflict. Some of us have experienced the barreness of infertility, while others of us have experienced a barren heart. We have all been touched by barreness at one time or another. Maybe our heart is barren because of longings unfulfilled, dreams unattained, isolation from friends or other disappointing issues we see no light at the end of the...

Well, we have moved into the 2 week time-frame, "post-period"... meaning I start Estrogen again tomorrow. The "period" was disappointing to say the least, but it was at least SOMETHING! Haha.... Not much to update on the fertility homefront, except that information :) On another note, I was reminded today why I decided to do this blog to begin with. A friend of mine took the time to send me an email, detailing the fact that although she is not what most would call a "believer" or a "Christian", my blog has made her think & begin to pray for us! I'm telling you, our minuscule situation has a greater purpose- reaching out to others! Lord, help me & Justin to show YOU in all we do & say... we want our fruit that others recognize t o be sweet & genuine - that others will see Christ in us & through us. " Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according...

Today was my postop appointment at Duke. That balloon had spent its time doing its job & was FINALLY removed today! That in & of itself seemed like a victory!! WOO HOO!! :) Then Dr. Walmer performed a hysteroscopy, which was to look at the inside of the uterus. Good news! My uterus is still "wide open", which pretty much means the balloon & my body did its job & no scar tissue has reformed since the surgery 3 weeks ago. Since the balloon could have been slightly inhibiting the growth of the uterine lining, Dr. Walmer did not measure it today. Here's the plan over the next month in order to take the necessary steps to "make a baby": Week 1 : Continue taking estrogen Week 2: If no period has begun, take progesterone to induce one. Week 3: After period, resume estrogen patches for 2 weeks. Week 5: After 2 weeks on estrogen, have an ultrasound to measure uterine lining, follicle count, etc.! We really do appreciate everyone's thoug...

Tara's surgery went very well, considering how much of a "mess" her RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist) said her uterus/tubes/ovaries were! Dr. Walmer was able to complete the surgery without having to make the larger, hip-bone to hip-bone incision we were afraid Tara needed. Endometriosis was "everywhere", including in her ovaries. He was able to remove the scar tissue within the uterus, and placed a balloon into the uterus to keep it open and avoid re-scarring over. Tara has to keep the inflated balloon in for 3 weeks... a long time!! :) She also has to be on high doses of estrogen, to basically "jump-start" her uterine lining to begin growing. She returns to the doctor for the balloon removal and evaluation of post-op scar tissue and endometrium thickness in 3 weeks. We are hoping the endometrium (the lining of the uterus) responds well to the high doses Tara will be receiving over the next few weeks. If so, that means we MAY be able to move f...

Well, our fertility journey has taken a little detour... Yesterday Tara developed severe and sudden pain in her lower abdomen, which resulted in an ER visit, lots of drugs, and (thankfully) no emergencies. However, they found that Tara's ovaries are very much enlarged with either blood or cysts, and that last night was possibly the result of a ruptured ovarian cyst, which is extremely painful. Everyone in the ER took great care of her; Tara did NOT want to go there since those are her coworkers and colleagues, but they were very discreet and professional. Soooo, Dr. Walmer, Tara's Reproductive Endocrinologist (specialist) at Duke heard about her visit to the ER and called her today. He said he had "major concerns" about her and wants to move up the date of the surgery. So we now have a surgery planned for June 26th (next Friday!!). Tara's doing a little better today, but VERY sore, and having to take Percocet to handle the pain. We appreciate the prayers we ...

Well this is the first of (hopefully) many blogs to come! I thought it would be good to keep my friends and loved ones updated on life as we know it. As you all probably know, we are very busy people ... both of us are in graduate school - Justin for his MBA, me for my Nurse Practitioner's. More importantly, we are ready to move on to the next step in our lives together - having a baby! However, most of you also know that we have experienced some obstacles in making that dream come true. On July 17th, I will have my 5th surgery for correction of endometriosis as well as my Asherman's Syndrome. If you don't know what Asherman's is, you can check it out at www.ashermans.org. Basically, I have the most severe form, which is development of scar tissue blocking the outlet of my uterus - so nothing can "get in or out" haha :) Anyway, this has been a long, arduous, and sometimes frustrating road for us. So keep us in your prayers - I honestly feel very posit...