Three Little Birds

Right now I am a bundle of nerves.  As I sit here in this rocker recliner that the hotel staff went out & got for us for the baby, my heart is pounding.  I have been reading scripture on fear and courage and trusting in the Lord.  But still I worry. Tomorrow is the day T. goes to the courthouse to sign irrevocable consent!  10 a.m. Oklahoma time (11 a.m. NC time).  The good news:  we talked to her today through text.  She is going!  :)  But so much more has transpired since yesterday ...hence the nerves.  The birthfather's mother called us today - we wouldn't have answered the phone but by some stroke of luck (HA!) we accidently opened the phone's cover while it was ringing and couldn't see on caller ID who was calling.  So we answered.  And she proceeded to tell me how upset she was that she never got to hold the baby while in the hospital... that she felt like no one had approached her son (even though he knew about the...

OK, well things have transpired that have made me decide to make this blog private.  Please email me at taraandjustin@hotmail.com & include your email address if you want to have access and continue to be able to read it. Thank you for understanding!! Tara

Sorry about the font size craziness... blogger is acting nutso tonight!  Anyways.... Today came and went like any other day.  Except that today was supposed to be the day our adoption was finalized.  Our birthmom was supposed to go to the attorney's office at 10am to sign the preliminary papers, then had an arraignment scheduled for 3pm at the courthouse.  She was going to sign over irrevocable consent.  However, today came & went without that occurring. The attorney called this morning about 9:15 am to tell us the news that made our hearts sink.  She wasn't going.  Not that she's changed her mind necessarily.  She told him she has an infected tooth and one side of her face is swollen (to my ED nurse/NP/PA friends... doesn't this sound like an abscess to you?).  Not that I want her to have an infection or have pain & discomfort, but I do hope that this is truly the case and not that she is actually reconsidering her decision of ad...

We were discharged from the hospital today!  Hooray!!  One more step towards coming home to NC. T. was actually discharged before lunch.  She came by to say her goodbyes and held him, kissed on him, and told him she loved him & that she hoped he had a fantastic life.  I held it together pretty good.  She didn't cry, but she was definitely more loving towards him today.  She was amazing.  She gave us the letter she wrote to him that we will one day read to him when he's ready.  I think he already knows how much she loves him.  We'll make sure he knows. Here I am in my "Going Home" outfit! Family self portrait :) Mommy & me!  Mommy is wearing the Chosen Child necklace from Cap's Creations here... it's engraved with his name. My first car ride... kinda bumpy - OKC needs to spend some money on their roads!! So now we are back at the hotel while we wait for progression legally.  The attorney states that the bir...

Some of you don't see my Facebook updates or pics, so thought I would post a pic or 2 of Zane so you can partake of his awesomeness ;)

We are ecstatic to announce that Zane Michael McLamb arrived today, October 23, 2010 at 11:52 a.m.!  Quick & easy labor for the birthmom, other than emotionally tough.  She is such an amazing, courageous woman.  Our little guy will always hear of her courageous and loving choice she made for him. He weighed 6 lb, 9 oz & measured only 18.5 inches - the cutest little guy you'll ever meet.  Big hands, long LONG feet, head full of black curly hair, and full beautiful lips!!  He is perfect and gorgeous.  Breathtaking and awesome.  Our God is so good.  There are no words to describe His goodness to us.  As I walked my 2 miles last evening around the hotel, I prayed... "God, even if you choose to let this baby wait to be delivered until the 29th, we will give you praise!  Even if you choose to let him stay here instead of coming home with us, we will sing of your goodness!"  Thank God he didn't choose either. :) T. is doing ver...

Thought I would write something a little lighter tonight... this blog's gotten kind of heavy lately :).  Don't worry, an adoption update is at the end. So here are some pics of our trip so far.  We haven't taken a whole lot, but we'll try to take more so as to be able to document this journey for the baby!  Sorry for the iPhone quality pics. Visiting the OKC National Memorial (OKC Bombing Site) Skyping with Jared, Justin's brother, and getting to see my little Abby!!!  :)  That's grandmama (Justin's mom) in the little lower box with us. My mom in our hotel room Me... yucky. :) The handsome hubby. Our fireplace in the hotel room... and some of our luggage packed & ready after a false alarm from T!  But notice the awesome arrangement of Thirty-One products ;)  That's the City Skirt Purse, Organizing Utility Tote, and the Hostess Exclusive Rolling Tote!!  And the Super Soft baby blanket on the coffee table, also from 31! ...

So today has been a toughie.  I, in particular, am very homesick.  But I'm getting ahead of myself.  Let me back up and update you on the adoption front. We heard from T. yesterday out of the blue, which has been unusual for her (well since we've arrived in OKC anyway) to contact us first.  But it was going on day 3 without any communication from her, and we were getting antsy, considering we called her on day 2 and got a message that her phone was disconnected.   We called the attorney (which he knew nothing), and then called V. who said that she was getting the # changed due to a disagreement w/ the birthfather.  Turns out she said her phone was lost, and she found it ... whatever the reason, we are glad she decided to contact us to let us know she was okay.  No progression though :(  But, she did seem more like herself (the T. we know better) than the last week and a half, and we texted back and forth for about 30 minutes.  So it made me...

So the past few days, we have been just waiting.  Trying to keep busy and keep sane.  We are doing ok, we have our good & bad moments.  We've come up with a list of stuff we want to do to pass the time (zoo, certain restaurants, certain attractions, etc).  Hopefully that will help some. We experienced our first earthquake yesterday!  We were sitting in the lobby at breakfast and suddenly we heard a low rumble, and the building began to shake.  But it's not like in NC, where maybe a low-flying jet is flying over or even with a sonic boom, where it shakes the building from the top down.  Instead, it's like it was shaking the building from the floor up.  Weird.  Ever been to one of those fun houses at the county fair, where the floor is moving beneath your feet?  That's what it felt like.  Like a ride sort of.  It lasted only for about 10 seconds.  We all looked at each other, and knew instantly it was an earthquak...

Let me just preface this by saying... I have been contemplating making this blog private, meaning you would need to send me your email address if you wanted to continue reading.  I really hate to do that.  I have done everything else to ensure my/our privacy is covered.  However, I am still thinking about it.  What are your thoughts?  Well, today's theme has been simple:  faith.  We went to T's appointment with her - she is 70% effaced (cervix thinning), baby's head is engaged in birth canal, and she is about 3 cm dilated.  So it won't be long! I don't want to go into details further than the fact that God is testing our faith.  Stretching it.  We are trying to be patient.  We are trying to be understanding and compassionate.  But... let's just say that it's very hard.  So today was another day of faith-testing.  Gosh, God sure is good at that!  I have not had a good makeup day if you get me.  But w...

Day 5 in OKC.  And we thought we were going to have a baby today!  But first things first, let me tell you about our day. We heard from T. about 11:30 and made plans for lunch about 12:30 at a restaurant about 15 minutes from our hotel.  So I went running to relieve some stress (haven't been able to do that since we got here due to a pretty bad cold/bronchitis, which is getting better slowly) - so glad I went for that run!!!  I miss it, plus I'm gaining weight because all I've done is stuff my face since we got here!!  HA! Plus it is such a good stress reliever. We met up with T. and the birthfather's mom (we'll call her "V.") around 12:30 at a little mom-and-pop's home-cookin' kind of restaurant.  It was really good!!  Long story short, V. said she felt better after meeting us.  She wanted to make sure we were going to tell him he was adopted ("yes, from day one!"), that he has a brother here in OKC ("yes, when he's able to ...

Well today was a lazy day for us - we laid around by the pool (the water's too cold to get in but the daytime temps are around 87 degrees & beautiful!) pretty much all day.  We did hear from our birthmom today - she actually started having heavy pressure and went to the hospital to be checked.  They sent her home (again!), and she's still only dilated 2 cm.  They said they can "feel the baby's head" according to her own words... now L&D nurses, does that mean she's at a certain "station" or "effaced"??  Haha.  I'm showing my lack of knowledge in L&D nursing! :)  Still no regular contractions, so again we wait. But today we have both been in a much better state of mind, and surrounded ourselves with positivity, not only from your comments on Facebook & this blog, but also from the Word.  I am so thankful for friends and family who have been given the gift of encouragement.  This child will certainly know each of your wo...

So today was a tough day for us to be honest.  We started out at breakfast, with me having a little breakdown b/c we still hadn't heard from T. and we were getting very down and out.  Our moms were here to offer sound advice, but just like Christie's comment on Day 2's blog post, Satan was using this opportunity as a foothold to put lies in our heads.  Christie, you will never know how God used you today with your comment.  You spoke such truth that we needed to hear and I am so grateful you allowed God to use you to encourage us. So we chilled out a bit, reminded ourselves that God is in control, and just decided to call her around 10:30 am to invite her to lunch.  She didn't answer, so we left a voicemail - this was call #2 and text #4 since not hearing from her 2 days ago.  We had faith that she would call us. So we spent all day today trying to keep busy.  We went to the OK City Bombing National Memorial (which we did when we visited last, but ...

Today we were actually supposed to meet up with our birthmom & the birthfather's mother (the birthfather has nothing to do w/ this child).  The birthfather's mom is not supportive of the adoption at this moment.  And T. wanted us to meet her, to "show her that we are good people" and basically make her feel more at peace with this adoption.  Don't worry, legally, the grandmother cannot interfere with our adoption.  However, she can interfere w/ T.'s emotions and possibly manipulate the situation out of our favor.  That's the bad news.  The good news is that we serve a BIG GOD who gave us this promise, and we know that He has not brought us this far to leave us empty-handed and heartbroken. So, we were supposed to meet up with them for lunch or possibly dinner.  We had not heard from her by 1:15pm, so we texted her, knowing that she is a night owl and likes to sleep in very late.  We still have not heard from her.  Honestly, it is making...

Hi everybody.  Well, we are here!!! In Oklahoma City to meet our baby-to-be.  Yesterday, I was working in the ER and Justin had the "mommy phone" (which is our designated phone for the birthmom).  He called me to tell me she had called him & said she was 2.5 cm dilated.  I said, "No big deal, people walk around dilated all the time".  An hour or so later, he called & said she said to come now......... I almost threw up.  And my ER girls started basically screaming... haha. Her OBGYN told her at her appointment yesterday that she would go into labor yesterday or today.  So I left work, as did Justin, my mom, & his mom.  We packed bags like crazy people.  Yes, I had some things packed, but mostly I was unprepared.  :(  It took about 3 hours from the call to getting to the airport. Oh, and we couldn't get the private jet after all.  It was in Virginia and not available.  :(  But that's ok!  They we...

Hey friends.  Please head over to The Best for You blog & enter the giveaway .  Adopting moms, you will want this book... it is written by a birthmom explaining in a kid-friendly way why she chose adoption for her child.  I really hope I win it, but would be just as ecstatic if one of you won it too!  If you enter, let them know that I sent you there (I'll get an extra ticket in the drawing [: ). Another giveaway.... a friend of mine makes the cutest bows and headbands for baby girls!!  She has a fairly new blog started called the Busy Bee , and is giving away a headband with the purchase of anything for $20 (hope I got that right Ashley!) :)  So head on over there!!  Super cute stuff! Much love,

Please vote for this book to enter every NC elementary school!  It is a finalist for the Refresh Everything Project by Pepsi.  Ms. Smith attends my church & I know firsthand that this is not only an important personal project for her, but is a necessary thing for us to talk with our children about! Vote below, and vote DAILY!!!

Hi adopting families!  I have good news about a way to receive monetary assistance with adoption.  Click HERE to read the Promote Oklahoma Adoption, who highlights a Christian ministry called Lifesong.  Check it out!  I'm really praying it will be an open door for you to continue to pursue adoption.

You probably remember my plea for prayers regarding our flight situation to Oklahoma, and our hopes were that we would make the birth of our baby.  Due to required layovers, limited numbers of flights (with NO red-eyes), etc. it didn't look like that was going to be possible, short of a miracle .  Well guess what!  God answers prayer.  And he doesn't just provide the minimum, he goes all out, above and beyond!! Philippians 4:19 - "And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." A few days ago, a friend of mine read my blog.  And along with praying about it, she contacted her brother, who is a good good friend of my hubby's & works for a large farming company in a very rural part of Eastern NC (Duplin County, or Kenansville, for those of you reading from around here!).  He is an accountant with the company, who have been very blessed financially (they have some part in the NC State University football stadium, f...