This day.
Sorry about the font size craziness... blogger is acting nutso tonight! Anyways....
Today came and went like any other day. Except that today was supposed to be the day our adoption was finalized. Our birthmom was supposed to go to the attorney's office at 10am to sign the preliminary papers, then had an arraignment scheduled for 3pm at the courthouse. She was going to sign over irrevocable consent. However, today came & went without that occurring.
The attorney called this morning about 9:15 am to tell us the news that made our hearts sink. She wasn't going. Not that she's changed her mind necessarily. She told him she has an infected tooth and one side of her face is swollen (to my ED nurse/NP/PA friends... doesn't this sound like an abscess to you?). Not that I want her to have an infection or have pain & discomfort, but I do hope that this is truly the case and not that she is actually reconsidering her decision of adoption. Now, as much strength and courage and faith as I've shown these last few weeks, you can well believe all that went out the window for a few hours!! All types of thoughts began running through my head, including the one that scared me the most: "How could I ever give this baby back now that he has stolen my heart?"
But my friends and family rallied around us with love and support, and words of scripture, songs, & encouragement all day long through Facebook, calls, & texts. And so although we are still concerned and naturally worried about things unseen, our hope has been restored. Not because we have any reason to have hope at this point, beyond the most important and incredible fact that God promised us this child and that is He is good. And that is why we continue to hope. Continue to have faith despite the attorney's warnings that this is not a good sign for the adoption. But don't we know that, in all things, God is faithful? That is what He does... he allows situations like these to happen in order that when He moves on our behalf, we can only say that THIS was a God-thing!!
"Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, [is able] to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think." ~ Ecc. 3:20 (NLT)
"But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit." ~ Jeremiah 17:7-8 (NIV)
I just pray God uses all of these struggles for a testimony for Him. I know He's already changing lives, including my own. I've honestly never prayed so hard, been stretched so thin, or relied so heavily on Him.
So now on to some beautiful pics of our son. :) Wow, that sounds good.
The good news as of this afternoon... the attorney got the arraignment rescheduled for Monday morning at 10 am, Oklahoma time. So be in prayer (as you already have) for everything that may or may not be going on behind the scenes, as well as for T.'s healing, and her life in general as she goes forward from this point. And we appreciate your prayers beginning around 9am Eastern (NC) time! :)
Love,
Today came and went like any other day. Except that today was supposed to be the day our adoption was finalized. Our birthmom was supposed to go to the attorney's office at 10am to sign the preliminary papers, then had an arraignment scheduled for 3pm at the courthouse. She was going to sign over irrevocable consent. However, today came & went without that occurring.
The attorney called this morning about 9:15 am to tell us the news that made our hearts sink. She wasn't going. Not that she's changed her mind necessarily. She told him she has an infected tooth and one side of her face is swollen (to my ED nurse/NP/PA friends... doesn't this sound like an abscess to you?). Not that I want her to have an infection or have pain & discomfort, but I do hope that this is truly the case and not that she is actually reconsidering her decision of adoption. Now, as much strength and courage and faith as I've shown these last few weeks, you can well believe all that went out the window for a few hours!! All types of thoughts began running through my head, including the one that scared me the most: "How could I ever give this baby back now that he has stolen my heart?"
But my friends and family rallied around us with love and support, and words of scripture, songs, & encouragement all day long through Facebook, calls, & texts. And so although we are still concerned and naturally worried about things unseen, our hope has been restored. Not because we have any reason to have hope at this point, beyond the most important and incredible fact that God promised us this child and that is He is good. And that is why we continue to hope. Continue to have faith despite the attorney's warnings that this is not a good sign for the adoption. But don't we know that, in all things, God is faithful? That is what He does... he allows situations like these to happen in order that when He moves on our behalf, we can only say that THIS was a God-thing!!
"Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, [is able] to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think." ~ Ecc. 3:20 (NLT)
"But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit." ~ Jeremiah 17:7-8 (NIV)
I just pray God uses all of these struggles for a testimony for Him. I know He's already changing lives, including my own. I've honestly never prayed so hard, been stretched so thin, or relied so heavily on Him.
So now on to some beautiful pics of our son. :) Wow, that sounds good.
The good news as of this afternoon... the attorney got the arraignment rescheduled for Monday morning at 10 am, Oklahoma time. So be in prayer (as you already have) for everything that may or may not be going on behind the scenes, as well as for T.'s healing, and her life in general as she goes forward from this point. And we appreciate your prayers beginning around 9am Eastern (NC) time! :)
Love,
9this is from karen peele but idk how to post except anonymous sorrry)
ReplyDeleteTara-I'm so sorry. You are so right, he does allow situations such as this to happen if for no other reason than to test our faith. I am sure it has to be confusing as well as depressing. But Tara you have shown not only in your words but in your actions as well(as I noticed when I worked with you)that you not only talk the talk but walk the walk. Myself, as well as others that have read your blog have mentioned how much faith you have and the praise and trust you have and give to God. Zane is "God sent" and God knows he will be raised in a christian home along with the importance of God. You are fortunate to have your mom(s) with you because mom always seems to make things better in these times. You are in our thoughts and prayers. God bless....Karen Peele
What a beautiful, perfect little blessing! He is amazing, and oh so little. I don't blame you for loving him to bits!
ReplyDeleteGod is good, faithful, and loves you guys. Check out my blog, posted a song for you. Sending prayers.
praying, praying, praying!
ReplyDeletei cannot imagine what you guys are going through and what an emotional weekend it will be.
what faith it takes to continue to give glory to God and to rest in His peace and faithfulness.
Susanne, what is your blog address? For some reason when I click on your name it is not there..... :(
ReplyDeleteNVM, found it!
ReplyDeletePRAYING!!!!
ReplyDeleteI still feel like it will all work out fine, and baby Zane will be a Carolinian soon... It also reminds me there are more stressful situations than international adoption. I cannot imagine what you are going through. If it helps, I lie awake wondering the conditions my baby is living in right now. At least yours is getting lots of love and care.
ReplyDeleteTara you are so strong, God see's your faithfulness and He is such a faithful God. We all know that His word says ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR OUR GOOD. Keep your head high, God knows exactly what He is doing (as you already know) i love you girl, can't wait to meet your little man!
ReplyDelete